Psalm 35:13-28 Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth, and humbled myself with fasting. When my prayers returned to me unanswered, I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother, I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother…
Read 2 Samuel 1:17-27 David laments or mourns the deaths of Saul and Jonathon, basically telling God that he thinks there should be no rain, no crops, not even dew. That this would be justified. David is basically in this and in some of the Psalms airing out his grief over something he felt shouldn’t have happened at all, or at least not in the way it did happen. The injustices of the world.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people due to other people’s sinful actions, or in the case of Saul due to his own sinful actions. David loved Jonathon like a brother, and loved Saul too, although Saul’s actions were those of a madman in later years, due to his separation from God through his sin. God is with us always, especially when we are grieving. So when I say that Saul was separated from God by his sin, it was his inability to reach out and ask for forgiveness which was separating him.
Another thing to consider is that even while Saul was worrying about his throne, and he went to the witch of Endor (not to be confused with the place in the movie “Star Wars”) to call Samuel back from the grave…it wasn’t to reunite himself with God. It was so that he could have his throne back. Saul was not asking for forgiveness. It seems that Saul was just trying to get God’s endorsement back so that he could continue to be King.
I am sure that God would have taken Saul’s heart back, and forgiven him if he had asked, but even when God forgives us there are consequences to our actions which have to be dealt with. Saul had mislead and misrepresented God to others while he was in a place of authority over those people. God takes that seriously. Instead of asking for forgiveness he continued to try to manipulate and force the situation. He didn’t bow his head to God and humbly say, “Your Will Be Done, Lord, in this matter and any other!” No, Saul kept his pride. The Bible tells us that God hates pride…not the kind of pride that goes with a sense of accomplishment where you have met a goal and you feel satisfaction from it. The kind of pride where you forget that God is the one who gave you the talents and skills to accomplish that goal, and you start getting full of yourself. God hates that kind of pride. That kind of pride causes all kinds of problems.
Any way, back to Saul…his pride caused him nothing but grief. It also caused others great grief as well. His pride quite literally cost his sons their inheritance, and their lives.
His pride also caused David all manner of pain and suffering too. Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God is the great comforter, even though he will not erase our grief, he will comfort us and make it more bearable. It is hard to pray when you are grieving, but that much more important to do, as you need comfort the most.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that all grief/suffering is due to someone’s sin. Though in a manner of speaking it is…the Garden of Eden was a perfect place, and there was no sin in it, until Satan the Serpent tempted Eve and Adam to sin. At that point the earth was cursed. It is hard to imagine the earth being cursed, but if we understand that this is why we have pain and suffering, and thorns, and bugs, and poisonous things in the world, natural disasters and such…then even though there are so many beautiful things on this earth one can also recognize the curse. Genesis 3:17 To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life.
The main thing is to not get caught up in blaming someone for your grief! That is a worldly thing to do. The world is always looking to answer “why” something has happened, and looking to blame someone. One of the most often asked questions is, “why me? why did this happen to me?” The more realistic thought is, “Why not me? It has to happen to someone, right? This kind of thing happens all the time, who is to say it can’t happen to me?!!” Once you have faced your grief with that kind of questioning instead of looking for someone to blame then you can start to realize that God is there for you to lean on…he is there to comfort you and help you to get through the grief. Especially when it is the kind of grief where you get up in the morning and are praying, “God, please just help me to get through this day…that is all I can deal with…and I can’t really deal with even this day, so please just help me to get through this day…”
If you are a Christian, then you should start to see this grief/suffering experience as a “Job” experience. If you read the story of Job in the Bible in the Book of Job, then you see this man who was very Godly and went to a lot of effort to make sure that his children even were kept from sin. He made sacrifices on their behalf. Job lost his whole family, and all of his wealth, and his health, yet he never cursed God. He kept his faith throughout. Job didn’t do anything wrong..nothing to “deserve” what was happening to him.
It is heartless to say that someone deserves what is happening to them. God does not want us to have this attitude toward people….God sometimes has the attitude of someone who is giving discipline to his children, but he is never joyful at their need for discipline or their suffering! God wants us to be compassionate and loving even to the worst offenders…those whom we see as the worst of the worst….even them! God loves them too! A person can never be too bad to come back to God’s arms and have salvation…the Bible is full of people that the average person would think was beyond redemption. Yet those people were redeemed! As Paul says in his letter in 1Timothy 1:15 This is a trustworthy saying, worthy of full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst.
So when I say grief/suffering is a “Job” experience, what I mean is that you are a Christian going through one of the hardest experiences of your life…you have a decision to make…either go through the experience holding on to your Christianity, your faith, your very personal relationship with God and be like Job…
OR The other option is to throw it all away and go through it with God next to you, but separated from you by your lack of faith in him. Your lack of faith in the goodness and mercifulness of God. In that case, what you are essentially doing, is curling up in a ball and shutting God out while wallowing in your misery.
There is a difference between wallowing (which we all do to some extent) and humbling ourselves before God and asking him for relief and comfort. We are miserable, and God gave us emotions to help us express ourselves to him and to each other.
Psalm 145:9 The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. We can trust in God to help us in times of misery and trouble and grief and suffering. There is simply no comfort as great as the comfort that God offers to us. We simply have to put our focus on him and keep it there and God is compassionate to help us through all trouble.
Psalm 34:17 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The most important thing for us to remember when dealing with things that happen around us that seem unfair or unexplainable is that God is a God of Justice. Justice not the way the world gives it, but real and true justice…and God is also a God of love…not as the world loves, but real and true love that transcends our understanding. After all, he sacrificed his son for us. God is trustworthy in all things as we are told in Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.